i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
