Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
