Christians are straight up FREAKS
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
