dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize