come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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