the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
