Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
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Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
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I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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