I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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