Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize