My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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