Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
