i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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