Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize