I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
