I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
