come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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