I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
