I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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