so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
