This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
