Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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