At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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