Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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