Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
