It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
