my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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