Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize