so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
