I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
