why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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