My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
