i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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