well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize