I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
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