Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
