hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
