am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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