Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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