Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
