I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
