jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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