i was born a porn star she said
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
