Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Randomize
Follow @tfln