The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.