the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Congratulations! We have a period
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