I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
