just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize