she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
