I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
These tits shall not be calmed
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