ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize