You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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