would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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