dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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