I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
