I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
