And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
