There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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