on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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