Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
